When you are busy with a newborn baby, sex can drop quite low on your ‘to do’ list. If it isn’t even comfortable when you do find the moment, it is all too easy to lose the intimacy in your adult relationship.
There are some simple but effective things you can do yourself, straight away, to improve your comfort and enjoyment.
Two quick tips to improve your sex life:
#1 Commit to a couple of weeks of daily pelvic floor exercises
The pelvic floor muscles play an important role in giving you a sense of closure around your partner as well as support and friction to create your own pleasurable sensations.
Taking time out to deliberately exercise the pelvic floor muscles will
- bring blood flow to the area,
- tone and tighten the muscles and
- improve your ability to feel the walls of the vagina during sex.
Many women report they are able to reach orgasm more easily, and that their orgasms are more powerful, after focusing on pelvic floor muscle exercises
Not sure how to do pelvic floor exercises?
- Download Squeezy App for regular reminders in your pocket and a great visual aid for the basic skills.
- Work through my recent “Get your Mojo Back” video series in collaboration with author Clio Wood
First find ALL your pelvic floor (did you know there are 3 parts?) and learn the 3 classic types of squeeze. Then progressing beyond the basics by practising co-ordinating your breathing, using free weights and even jumping!
#2 Keep a personal lubricant in your bedside table drawer
The hormone changes of pregnancy and breastfeeding can leave your body surprisingly dry at the vaginal opening and deeper inside.
When you are trying to grab a quick sexy moment, with maybe less time than usual to get in the mood, your body may not produce enough natural lubrication. This can make penetration painful or the movement of your partner inside you can feel like a friction burn.
Using a personal lubricant during your foreplay (it works best if you put it on both of you) can make a magical transformation to your comfort and enjoyment.
Find more tips in my Getting your Mojo back series:
- #1 What is good postnatal sex anyway?
- #2 What to do when postnatal sex is painful
- #3 When postnatal sex is just a bit flat
And ask for support
then don’t hesitate to talk to your GP. They will be sympathetic and impressed that you have already tried these first steps. Your GP can organise referral to a specialist physiotherapist to give you personal 1:1 assessment and guidance, and they will be able to move on to other investigations of the possible causes of your pain.You can and will enjoy comfortable sex again – but you must be brave to let them know that you are suffering.
Please do ask questions or share your story with me @propelvic. Your experience will help others too. #NoMoreMiserableMums
